Hehehehe welcome to my lair of degenerated filth, i am your tourguide.. stormraiser! please be seated! i am the supergoth! learn from me! have some bubbly brew!
| Step# | How to be gothic |
| 1 | Wear all black, duh |
| 2 | Throw away any cd that doesnt mention marilyn manson, nine inch nails, or glorifies death. |
| 3 | Ask your mom for money to buy a $129.99 dollar pair of DocMartin knee-high black leather boots. |
| 4 | Buy marilyn manson posters and anything with a picture of marilyn manson, and drape your walls with them. |
| 5 | Paint any other showing wallspace black or grey. |
| 6 | Tear up clothes, and put safety pins on em. |
| 7 | Proclaim to everyone that youre deep and arent concerned about image. |
| 8 | Whenever someone mentions god, immediatly say "god isnt real" and dont back up this statement with anything that youve thought out at all, goths dont think, they just know. |
| 9 | Paint your windows black or put up really thick shades, and tell people sunlight hurts your skin because you are a vampire. |
| 10 | Tell people you like bondage, when youre really a virgin. |
| 11 | Accept gay people |
| 12 | If youre a girl, tell people youre a lesbian. |
| 13 | Dye your hair black. |
| 14 | Buy freaky eyes so you look like Marilyn Manson, cause Manson's "hardcore underground antichrist industrial" and thats cool. |
| 15 | Never buy a cd by Skinny Puppy, Cradle of Filth, or London after Midnight. Who the hell are they? |
| 16 | Do your best to be exiled from everyone in school, except those who are mansonites. |
| 17 | Write poetry in which you talk about roses dying and blood tears and vampirism/cannibalism and how god isnt real. Try to include many words such as morbid that sound hardcore gothic. |
| 18 | Cut yourself for shock value. |
| 19 | Ask your parents if you can get a tongue piercing. |
| 20 | Stay in school. |
| 21 | Attempt suicide, or frequently talk about how youre about to attempt suicide |
| 22 | Act like youre better than anyone who isnt a goth, because theyre not as deep as you. How could they possibly be as deep as you? You wear a halloween costume to school, how deep is that. |
| 23 | Be straight edge. Obstain from alcohal, drugs, and tobacco... people who do em must be idiots to abuse their bodies that way. Hurting your body couldnt possible be worth it, unless for cutting perposes, and the occasional marilyn manson concert, you can carve his name on your chest for that. |
| 24 | Have parties with friends in which you goto a tree stump at midnight and speak gibberish over it while splashing the stagnant stump water on a bone. |
| 24 | Claim to be a full scale wiccan. |
| 25 | Only goto ozzfest, and marilyn manson appearences... no other music is anygood, it isnt hardcore like the stuff at ozzfest. (note: i love ozzfest) |
| 26 | Act like people are assholes for not accepting someone who willingly exiled themselves. |
| 27 | Goto Jenny Jones and tell all the people that they look the same to you and they are just like every other person, while youre original. |
| 28 | Tell other people to come to this website ;) |
| 29 | For all muh bruthahs out there, wear make up, fishnets.. well everyone wear fishnets, and any girl clothes you can scrape up. Youre not gay, you just have style. |
| 30 | Buy every single meal you ever even consider eating from Strabucks or Dennys or maybe Jack in the Box. |
Follow all these steps and i gaurantee that youll be one of those lovable gothic types that everyone loves so much. If you know any gothic guidelines that i left out, mail em to [email protected] you can send comments about it or whatever to me... flame, praise, laugh, submit... whatever.
---Stormraiser
Listen to me rant about Manson!
Shit people sent me that would entertain the adoring public